with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
