He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
