Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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