I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
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I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
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