pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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