you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
