Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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