he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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