I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
