your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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