i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
