Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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  (415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s
  Replies (12) Good night (3001) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

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  (407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa
  Replies (18) Good night (1335) Bad night (9401)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore

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  (210): i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore http://tfl.nu/ys1g
  Replies (40) Good night (3719) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.

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  (941): Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band. http://tfl.nu/r564
  Replies (11) Good night (1126) Bad night (4353)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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  (724): btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die. http://tfl.nu/rrxi
  Replies (13) Good night (6059) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY

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  (516): the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY http://tfl.nu/b20j
  Replies (14) Good night (6953) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor

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  (812): For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor http://tfl.nu/nslr
  Replies (9) Good night (1976) Bad night (3325)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

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  (919): Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music. http://tfl.nu/oyb0
  Replies (24) Good night (8020) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Gong!

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT

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  (206): Gong! (1-253): YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT http://tfl.nu/dcri
  Replies (17) Good night (4483) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.

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  (989): private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen. http://tfl.nu/gtzt
  Replies (3) Good night (1663) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion

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  (719): Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion http://tfl.nu/mw29
  Replies (9) Good night (1440) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"

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  (520): I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito" http://tfl.nu/vbc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1129) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

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  (651): Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea http://tfl.nu/mdyc
  Replies (14) Good night (945) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (2222) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"

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  (406): after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers" http://tfl.nu/5du2
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (488)

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