He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex