Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
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It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?