Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I want to make a zoo with you.

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  (509): I want to make a zoo with you. http://tfl.nu/c924
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (696)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked

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  (419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked http://tfl.nu/tqdc
  Replies (60) Good night (25039) Bad night (2025)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (792) Good night (8084) Bad night (111815)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?

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  (410): what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"? http://tfl.nu/vaok
  Replies (29) Good night (11055) Bad night (1358)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete

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  (484): maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete http://tfl.nu/m91r
  Replies (10) Good night (3978) Bad night (933)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!

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  (518): Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!! http://tfl.nu/blny
  Replies (8) Good night (3576) Bad night (1190)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.

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  (504): Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit. http://tfl.nu/1p19
  Replies (4) Good night (2624) Bad night (887)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person

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  (845): Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person http://tfl.nu/riak
  Replies (15) Good night (1908) Bad night (647)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself

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  (773): Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself http://tfl.nu/pyfv
  Replies (14) Good night (1279) Bad night (758)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.

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  (647): So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers. http://tfl.nu/zbe6
  Replies (2) Good night (1037) Bad night (492)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (27) Good night (2310) Bad night (2385)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets

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  (902): dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets http://tfl.nu/zyuz
  Replies (4) Good night (765) Bad night (415)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.

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  (248): Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us. http://tfl.nu/bddr
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (440)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.

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  (989): I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair. http://tfl.nu/f3z5
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (369)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I felt like I was at the zoo

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  (519): How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things (1-519): I felt like I was at the zoo http://tfl.nu/xxq9
  Replies (0) Good night (826) Bad night (282)

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