Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
