I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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