i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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