It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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