What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
