they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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