absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
