a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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