Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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