he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm at about main and main street
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
