My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
