Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
id be glad to
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
