Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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