Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
then he tried to convert me to islam
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
