I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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