dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
