i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
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My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
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