I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize