Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Be still, my beating vagina.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
