i think i have herpe
just one?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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