You really coming over, don't trick.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
