it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
