YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
