I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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