So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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