Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
