He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
