I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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