could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize