Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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