I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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