Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
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Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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