i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
