dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
