She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
