you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
how drunk are you?
Several
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
