don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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