I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
