I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
