we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
