that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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