she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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