You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
