I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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