can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
