Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
