it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you never un-have a 4some
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
