just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
