JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
