I feel like abortions should bother me more
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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