My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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