I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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