I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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