it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize