Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
