I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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