Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
