its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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